Gabby (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladyoflorien) wrote2002-12-23 11:48 pm
ladyoflorien) wrote2002-12-23 11:48 pm
Weh?
I... am.... very much with the dead right now.
*stressed out*
Okay, 3 really really bad days in a row, and the one friend that actually converses with me on a daily basis is aloof and busy and all around unconcerned with anything to do with me. *shrug* That's okay, go do what you need to do, I'll be fine by myself. I'm by myself 90% of the time anyway.
Of course I don't say that to him in those exact words, because that would be mean and make me feel like a big selfish snob. And lord knows I try to avoid that as much as possible. Don't want to assume the roll of every other f***ing person I've ever known in life.
I just think maybe it'd be nice to have a friend. You know, like a REAL friend. Someone commented the other day that everybody needs to have a best friend. ...I don't. So where does that put me? Off in the lonely end of the room? Most definitely. But I'm able to distract myself with piddly conversations about movies and mundane events and all around unimportant plans and fanfics and hey, if you pile more work on your head than you know what to do with then you're too busy to miss human affection, right?
That's what I thought. It actually means you're stressed, overworked and miserably lonely all at the same time. But whatever. Tomorrow will probably (hopefully) break the cycle of terrible days and I wont focus too much on which friend wasn't there for what and how I have no one to talk to about that. I'll go back to me. Not this whiny, self-involved, miserable, bratty little bitch who complains every time someone says "Hey, I'm gonna go for a nap, see ya" or "Yo, going to the movies with such and such, see ya."
God, PLEASE let tomorrow be better. I can't even stand to listen to myself for much longer. No wonder why no one hangs around me more often, who cares what anyone else says.
At least I find out if Gerren is coming on Thursday or not. If he is, that'll definitely boost my spirits. Just as long as everything else runs smooth too.
PS. Am using![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
silvercharmer's "Come to Grief" icon in my head!
*stressed out*
Okay, 3 really really bad days in a row, and the one friend that actually converses with me on a daily basis is aloof and busy and all around unconcerned with anything to do with me. *shrug* That's okay, go do what you need to do, I'll be fine by myself. I'm by myself 90% of the time anyway.
Of course I don't say that to him in those exact words, because that would be mean and make me feel like a big selfish snob. And lord knows I try to avoid that as much as possible. Don't want to assume the roll of every other f***ing person I've ever known in life.
I just think maybe it'd be nice to have a friend. You know, like a REAL friend. Someone commented the other day that everybody needs to have a best friend. ...I don't. So where does that put me? Off in the lonely end of the room? Most definitely. But I'm able to distract myself with piddly conversations about movies and mundane events and all around unimportant plans and fanfics and hey, if you pile more work on your head than you know what to do with then you're too busy to miss human affection, right?
That's what I thought. It actually means you're stressed, overworked and miserably lonely all at the same time. But whatever. Tomorrow will probably (hopefully) break the cycle of terrible days and I wont focus too much on which friend wasn't there for what and how I have no one to talk to about that. I'll go back to me. Not this whiny, self-involved, miserable, bratty little bitch who complains every time someone says "Hey, I'm gonna go for a nap, see ya" or "Yo, going to the movies with such and such, see ya."
God, PLEASE let tomorrow be better. I can't even stand to listen to myself for much longer. No wonder why no one hangs around me more often, who cares what anyone else says.
At least I find out if Gerren is coming on Thursday or not. If he is, that'll definitely boost my spirits. Just as long as everything else runs smooth too.
PS. Am using
silvercharmer's "Come to Grief" icon in my head!