Human beings are so strange. I sometimes just don't understand them. Their lack of conviction, passion, love. Understanding. Willingness to accept. I don't understand it. And the few persons that do display these qualities get written up in the history books as some sort of model, because they're so rare and hard to come by. But why? Why does it have to be that way?
There are few words that I don't understand, and have no desire to learn their meaning or why people cling to them so. Cowardice. Selfishness. Ineptness. Stubbornness. Hatred. Disrespect. Such abominable words, yet people love and cling to them. Some people. But I don't know why.
Why does it have to be so hard to have faith? love? joy? peace? long-suffering? kindness? goodness? mildness? self-control? People have to work hard to cultivate such fruitages, yet the abominable things come so easy. Why?
I suppose in a way I know why, but I still don't understand why people would allow such things to govern their existence. Am I the only person who lives with the philosophy of devotion to others to the point of self-sacrifice, if necessary? Is it such a new idea to need that kind of love and devotion in your life? Am I the only one that would stand up and shout "No! Take me instead!" if a friend ever came into trouble? Surely as you read this you think "Of course not. I'd do the same." But in the heat of the moment, would you let that cowardice, selfishness, ineptness, stubbornness, hatred, disrespect take control of you? Or what if it weren't a friend you were standing up for, but a complete stranger... would you still do it then? No one can truthfully say when not faced with that sort of situation. But do you hesitate, filling with self-doubt, at just reading the words?
There are no saints in the world today. No perfect people. No model to live your life by. Everyone sins, everyone makes mistakes, everyone falls short. But why just accept that, and not stand up and fight against it with a power beyond what you'd think possible? I would not quietly go into sin, not without fighting with every ounce of breath I have. I would not ever let those qualities of cowardice, selfishness, hatred or disrespect ever creep into my life without a hard fight. I would never clearly hurt a person, and then just let it be, saying "Oh well, they deserved it anyway," or "What's done is done, there's no turning back," or "Why should I be the first to speak when they hurt me too?" I would lay down my life for another human being, even though I do not understand them, and even though there are so few left in this world who would do the same. I would never lay by the wayside and allow myself to be a quiet criminal while I know my brother or sister is in trouble. Never. That sort of act is as good as blood guilt to me. But am I the only one that feels this way?
Humans act so strange. What we call "human nature," is an abominable thing. But we label it as something acceptable, something to be expected, a name to hide behind. I refuse to hide behind it, because I refuse to conform to everyones image of me. I will never stop trying to be something better than just another sinful human, oh ho hum, what can we do? I will never stop the struggle for such things as love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, and self-control. Because without these things I'm just another bastard child of this system, heartless, mindless, empty and desolate. And I'd never let myself become that way, not for any glory or desire of myself, but for those whom I meet. So that they know, even if I don't understand them, that I would fight for them if ever they needed me. Yes, I'd stand up and fight for them with my very last breath. Because that should be true Human Nature. That should be something anyone, anywhere, at anytime would do for friend, stranger, or even foe. Because every person deserves respect, love, faith and loyalty, even if you don't understand them, don't agree with them, or don't like them at the time. No matter what, they are still your Brethren, just as deserving as you for every courtesy we may give.
If you are hurting, come to me and I will not turn you away, no matter if you see a void between us or an unconquerable wall of hate. No matter who you are, or what you've done to me in the past, I will accept you openly. I say this to those who would think me a person that holds on to grudges, hurt feelings, or bruised egos. I am not like that. And if you are, then come talk to me so we can fix whatever plagues you. Do not leave me guessing in the dark, to feel like some sort of criminal. Give me the respect I deserve, so that I may help you with whatever you need. Put at least that much faith in me and my character. Chances are I am not what you think I am, and I do not think the way you think I do.
Make the leap to at least find out, and step away from "human nature," no matter how hard you think it may be. Because if it is so bad, I'll be here to comfort you, no questions asked.
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tis_true and Stargate make a good combination. *g*
