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ladyoflorien) wrote2002-11-15 04:13 pm
ladyoflorien) wrote2002-11-15 04:13 pm
(no subject)
I've learned to stop asking why my father doesn't love me. Because I never get an answer. All it does is make me feel even more useless. But just because I don't ask anymore, doesn't mean I don't feel anymore. And every day he's here I feel more and more... worthless. Stupid. Talentless. Unlovable. You take your pick.
My uncles are supposed to arrive any minute now, but I'm dreading it. I don't want to have to go back out there. Though I know he probably will just ignore me, I still don't want to have to look at him. Why does he have to be this way??
Jonna came to visit. I love her all to pieces. She may come with us to California in February, which would be the 1 year anniversary of the cruise. *grin* That was SO much fun... even though it was terribly frightening. She's nuts. I guess that's just the good part of being sisters... she can be nuts for me and that way I don't get in trouble. I taught her and Petro how to play Egyptian War today. That was a lot of fun. I think I'm actually getting better at it. Though when she gets mad she doesn't hit softly. *shakes hand* I'm glad I got to see her. It's been several weeks.
Oh, and btw, the weird dreams continue. I'm half afraid to go to sleep anymore.
*sigh* I hope my uncles get lost for a while, that way I can just sit in my room alone for just a bit longer.
My uncles are supposed to arrive any minute now, but I'm dreading it. I don't want to have to go back out there. Though I know he probably will just ignore me, I still don't want to have to look at him. Why does he have to be this way??
Jonna came to visit. I love her all to pieces. She may come with us to California in February, which would be the 1 year anniversary of the cruise. *grin* That was SO much fun... even though it was terribly frightening. She's nuts. I guess that's just the good part of being sisters... she can be nuts for me and that way I don't get in trouble. I taught her and Petro how to play Egyptian War today. That was a lot of fun. I think I'm actually getting better at it. Though when she gets mad she doesn't hit softly. *shakes hand* I'm glad I got to see her. It's been several weeks.
Oh, and btw, the weird dreams continue. I'm half afraid to go to sleep anymore.
*sigh* I hope my uncles get lost for a while, that way I can just sit in my room alone for just a bit longer.