Oh God.

[ladyoflorien]

*sob* Oh god oh god oh god. Why can't I stop dreaming? Why? Someone please tell me why!!!!!!!

I'm freezing and I'm shaking, though I'm sure it's not due to the cold, and my head is spinning; I can't think, I can barely breathe, and I can't move. It took everything I had to turn on the computer. I feel paralyzed. I feel like I'm not even inside my flesh anymore. And I hurt deep inside the the womb of my heart. My arms are heavy and everywhere I ache. Please, please, please god, make the dreams stop.

I have to take pills to force myself to sleep now. I can't STAND IT!!! I'm terrified half out of my mind to go to bed at night anymore. At least sleeping restlessly through the morning I don't dream. But at night, when the world is quiet, it seems the demons haunt my head. I don't think I can take it anymore.

If only I could stop shaking so bad. If my body wouldn't tremble so violently. If, if, if. And yet, here I sit, blank and empty and cold and in pain, and there's nothing I can do, because every time I move I see those images behind my eyes again.

Someone, please, make them stop.