Gabby (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladyoflorien) wrote2003-10-07 05:13 pm
ladyoflorien) wrote2003-10-07 05:13 pm
Beh.
This was rather amusing. I recommend everyone watch it, it cracked me up.
*blinks* Oh look, I have a friends page. *tries to read some entries*
I feel like my soul has been scoured off from within the walls of my organs. There's a dismal emptiness pounding within my chest and it's swallowing up my esophagus, consuming the air I breathe as a fire does. It burns and heaves and yet I feel nothing and everything all at once. I blame myself for this melancholy, but it's hard to choke down the inner-beatings of the child that once was; the child that refuses to be snuffed out. And I'm running out of ways to deal. I want to be able to feel the air touch my lungs again, I want to taste the sweetness of life. I don't want it to hurt as it does any longer, but I've forgotten how to dismiss and override and forget. I've awakened memories that refuse to back down, and it's frightening and exciting and destructive to my sanity. I wish I could forget again, but there's this nagging sensation like an icy chill beneath the burning in my void soul that seems to be telling me that I shouldn't. That I need this. That if I go deeper, I might find something incredible. But I don't know how much more pain from the digging I can take before my fingers begin to split and bleed and my back refuses to go on. I don't know how much longer I can stay submerged under water before my lungs burst and my heart gives way. I feel absolutely excruciatingly lost. And it is the worst sensation in the world.
*blinks* Oh look, I have a friends page. *tries to read some entries*
I feel like my soul has been scoured off from within the walls of my organs. There's a dismal emptiness pounding within my chest and it's swallowing up my esophagus, consuming the air I breathe as a fire does. It burns and heaves and yet I feel nothing and everything all at once. I blame myself for this melancholy, but it's hard to choke down the inner-beatings of the child that once was; the child that refuses to be snuffed out. And I'm running out of ways to deal. I want to be able to feel the air touch my lungs again, I want to taste the sweetness of life. I don't want it to hurt as it does any longer, but I've forgotten how to dismiss and override and forget. I've awakened memories that refuse to back down, and it's frightening and exciting and destructive to my sanity. I wish I could forget again, but there's this nagging sensation like an icy chill beneath the burning in my void soul that seems to be telling me that I shouldn't. That I need this. That if I go deeper, I might find something incredible. But I don't know how much more pain from the digging I can take before my fingers begin to split and bleed and my back refuses to go on. I don't know how much longer I can stay submerged under water before my lungs burst and my heart gives way. I feel absolutely excruciatingly lost. And it is the worst sensation in the world.
*jaw drops*
Sorry you're feeling down, hon. Anything I can do?
Re: *jaw drops*
Nope, nothing you can do. I just gotta stop running away from who I am.
no subject
no subject
no subject