Why am I watching this movie?

[ladyoflorien]

I've hated today. It's been a horrible day. The great thing is it started off GREAT too -- woke up at 7:30AM from a horrifying nightmare! Oh yeah, because I have to have one of those at least everyfreakingnight. Ergo, I missed appointment number one, the meeting, because I was so freaked out that I kept whimpering to myself "don't get out of bed, don't get out of bed... don't open your eyes, don't open your eyes... don't get out of bed, don't leave this room, just lay still..."

Crawled out of bed by 9:30 and got geared up to get DMB tickets. Two separate websites geared, and ticket master on speed dial. I didn't get the tickets. I kid you not, I will be a sorely depressed and horrible person to be around for several weeks. And then I'll get over it and June will roll around and I'll be a horrible person all over again. Seriously, nothing could crush the happy-go-lucky fangirl in me more than not getting tickets. I think I cried. yeah okay make that more than once. Ever since an hour after I saw them live for the first time I've been saying "I HAVE to go again, I NEED to go again, right NOW," and I just wanted to get these tickets so bad it physically hurt. Obsess much, you say? Yeah, sure, I won't argue with you there. But think about it this way: Envision the happiest moment of your life. The one thing you look back on as the best day you ever had. Now imagine someone offered you to relive that day again at an affordable price. Tell me you wouldn't get excited about the prospect, I dare you. Now imagine that opportunity getting snatched away from you almost as quickly as it came, but not until you've had a couple days to envision all the possibilities. Now tell me you wouldn't be disappointed. THAT'S how this is for me, right now. I just wanted to be there so bad. So bad. There'll probably be more ranting about this later.

But god, I don't even want to finish this post. I don't want to talk about the other stuff. I mean really, I should just freaking forget about the bad and concentrate on the good, right? Okay, so the good things that happened today:

-Made $20 in two hours, and all I had to do was watch TV (sorta).
-Watched Pirates of the Caribbean (sorta... more like listened to it from another room while trying to work).
-yeah okay, I'm fresh out of ideas.

Frell it. Today sucked and I can't kick being depressed and I don't want to talk about it anymore and I took something to help me sleep but I'm frelling afraid to get back in bed and I JUST DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DEAL ANYMORE!!!!!!!! I'm pissed at the world, and DAMN IT, I'M GOING TO WRITE THE MARY-SUEST DOM FIC YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE AND I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sniff* Frell. frell, frell frell. I want a hug I can feel. And I don't want to have to wake up early again tomorrow and face the world with a frelling fake smile on my face.

I just hate me so much.

*grabs Dom and instructs him to be happy and shiny and pretty and cuddly*

Thank goodness for Ethan Embry and Almond Joy ice cream. Huzzah for candy bar ice cream that actually tastes like said candy bar.