Oy.

[ladyoflorien]

Note To Self: I do NOT want to be where I was 3 years ago. I do not want to be victim to her guilt, to her need to show me she's better, to her vengefulness or spitefulness, or her cruelty. I do not want to loose sight of what I am, only to gain sight of what she would make me believe I am. I do not want to believe the things I love are a waste of life, and I do not want to let her belittle my life so hers looks better. I do not want to allow her to make me believe that the better things are unattainable for someone like me again. I do not want to forget the soft smell of rain, the sound the ocean makes as it shatters across the sand, the feel of the wind and water blowing in my face so forcefully that my eyelids shudder, or the way I look at a person and see beyond the flesh to what makes them truly beautiful, the taste of a gentle dew-kissed morning fresh with opening buds and the perfume of trees. I do not want to forget my God. I do not want to forget these things, for I do not want to forget I want to stay alive.

"Of wretchedness and blessedness, of loneliness and happiness, of belovedness and sinfulness, it is existence."

Comments

[bellebohemian.livejournal.com]

First off, did you write that? Because it's beautiful.
Secondly, if you did... what's going on, honey? :'(

[lordoflorien.livejournal.com]

Did I write the little quote down at the bottom of the post? No. I pulled that from an e-mail somewhere. I did however write the big ol paragraph before it.

*sigh* Life sucks sometimes.